1.   Spread rumors that the reason why Edward never had a girlfriend before Bella is because he likes guys...

2. ...And that he has a crush on Jasper...

3. ...or Carlisle

4. Tell Alice that pink really isn't her color

5. Attempt to juggle with Esme's china

6. Tell Bella that if she jumped from a great height Edward would have to change her

7. Microwave Peeps...

8. ...and leave them in Jasper's favorite book

9. Call Bella's mom and tell her "The baby's doing okay" and that Bella and Edward asked him to be godfather

10. Snap his fingers in 'Z' formation

11. Use the phrase "Uh-uh. Gir-Rl puh-lease."

12. Snap his fingers in 'Z' formation while using the phrase "Uh-uh. Gir-Rl puh-lease."

13. In fact, Emmett is not even allowed to think about snapping his fingers in 'Z' formation, saying "Uh-uh. Gir-Rl puh-lease," or doing both at the same time

14. Try and start a colony in a school bathroom...

15. ...and invite the teachers giving him detention/trying to get him to put his clothes back on to join...

16. ...and then tell the Guidance Counselor that Rosalie's hair told him to do it

17. Paint Edward's Volvo tie-dye...

18. ...and then say it was Bella's idea

19. Sing any songs generally associated with Gwen Stefani...

20. ...or Britney Spears

21. Sing "Ninety-nine bottles of grizzly blood on the wall.."

22. Furthermore, he not allowed to sing. Period.

23. Wear a tu-tu and tell everyone to call him Princess Butterfly

24. steal every pet in town...

25. ...and then sell them back to their owners...

26. ...after shaving them and glueing sequins on them

27. Attempt to turn inanimate objects, such as pieces of fruit, into vampires

28. Claim aforementioned 'vampire fruit' as his army of loyal minions...

29. ...and try to get them to attack Jasper...

30. ...then throw the 'vampire fruit'/army of loyal minions at Jasper when they do not attack

31. Call Carlisle 'Gramps'...

32. ...especially after Carlisle tells him to turn off his annoying music

33. Steal Rosalie's stuffed animals and make movies with them

34. Steal all of Alice's left socks, fill them with rocks and throw them in a river

35. Run through the school without a shirt on with "Momma's boy" written on his chest in whipped cream

36. Make subtle inneundos about Edward's repression

37. Make obvious innuendos about Edward's repression

38. Burst into tears and run from the room crying after wailing "I thought we had something special!" when Bella asks him to pass the salt at lunch

39. Write children's books (examples: 'Fun, Five Letter Words to Know and Share'; 'Daddy Drinks Because You Cry'; 'Curious George and the High Voltage Fence')

40. Convince Esme that Home Depot has gone out of business and is closing

41. Wear leather pants (no matter how good he looks in them)

42. Scratch " 3MM3TT K!CK A" onto walls...

43. ...and then deny all knowledge of it

45. Dress up in the school mascot uniform and then tackle Edward and Jasper

46. Dye his hair black, wear glasses,carry around a stick and tell hordes of 4th graders he is the real Harry Potter

47. Change any of his male family member's ringtone to "Barbie Girl"

48. Wear Rosalie's underwear around the house (even if the whole family was watching Rocky Horror Picture Show)

49. Replace all of Edward's CDs with bolonga slices

50. Emmet most never say Alice have to many shoes

51. Emmett is not allowed to swat flies with a meat tenderizer...

52. Hold Alice's favourite pair of shoes over her head so she has to jump for them

54. Hum the Jaws theme song whenever Alice walks by

55.Pretend to fall asleep in class...

56. And then pretend to be having a wet dream in which Jasper is the star...

57... Especially when Jasper is sitting in the desk next to his

58.Wear Carlisle's Doctor's coat and stethoscope to school and claim that he's "Dr Love"

59. Write "For a good time, call Edward Cullen" on the school's boy's bathroom walls

60. Politely inform Jasper that the North won the war

61. Play "Lord of the Onion Rings" at lunch

Källa